Yay, today was better! I have this pattern where Mondays are the worst days for my mental health. I think it is because of the fun and attention I get from the weekend, then I am left alone with my thoughts again. We hung out with friends all weekend the one before last and that monday was my worst ever. I wanted to move out or something, I don't know. Don't get me wrong, I love my husband, but I hate living in this city and this house. I want to go back to my hometown, which is a large city with so much to do and see! BUT today was awesome because I drove to the big city and saw my friend who just had a baby, so she is available to see for like two months. It was fun, even though all we did was walk around the mall then put our feet in the pool. It did wonders for my mood. After I got home we worked on the garden. I convinced my husband to help me get the garden square in the backyard. I told him it was the only thing I care about, so he is helping me dig out the weeds and turn the dirt.
I am obsessed with finding out what I want to do basically the rest of my life. I feel like there is nothing that I like that much to do that often. I have phases of things I like but not much has kept my interest for years. I majored in film and even that is kinda a new interest. I have not decided if I want to do something I have to work that actively all the time. Mostly in terms of finding work or being such an advocate for myself so intensely. Gardening is something I have enjoyed for many years but I am stupid allergic to everything, that's why I need someone else to weed and get rid of the dry grass, which is the worst for my face. Not sure if I can do garden design and not be able to actually plant/touch stuff. I really enjoy organizing and planning. I just have to figure out what career I can do that with, but maybe not have other dumb stuff. Maybe I am being unrealistic- I want a job that I can do what makes me happy but not the stuff that sucks. You can tell I haven't really worked much in my life.
Still figuring out what I want and what my purpose is. I am hoping that one of these days the answers to these questions will be answered for me.
The first thing I planted at the new house.
I am obsessed with finding out what I want to do basically the rest of my life. I feel like there is nothing that I like that much to do that often. I have phases of things I like but not much has kept my interest for years. I majored in film and even that is kinda a new interest. I have not decided if I want to do something I have to work that actively all the time. Mostly in terms of finding work or being such an advocate for myself so intensely. Gardening is something I have enjoyed for many years but I am stupid allergic to everything, that's why I need someone else to weed and get rid of the dry grass, which is the worst for my face. Not sure if I can do garden design and not be able to actually plant/touch stuff. I really enjoy organizing and planning. I just have to figure out what career I can do that with, but maybe not have other dumb stuff. Maybe I am being unrealistic- I want a job that I can do what makes me happy but not the stuff that sucks. You can tell I haven't really worked much in my life.
Still figuring out what I want and what my purpose is. I am hoping that one of these days the answers to these questions will be answered for me.
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